


The Ones That Entertain

by waldorph



Series: giddy whirl [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-25
Updated: 2009-10-25
Packaged: 2017-10-03 18:19:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waldorph/pseuds/waldorph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt likes going shopping with the girls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ones That Entertain

**Author's Note:**

> written for **snarky-kat**.

Santana and Brittany approach him about a shopping trip, which he thinks is fabulous, and schedules for the day of the Winter Ball.

Mercedes, he knows, has style. She, he is not worried about.

Quinn, Brittany, and Santana he is very worried about. Today he is determined that neither of them shall come away from this with a white dress, or a red dress. And they are _not_ doing their hair in ponytails. He will take the scissors to them himself if he has to.

Tina is going to be a challenge, but maybe something from Hot Topic and then something a little retro from the second-hand store… a mix and mash. Black is a must, because well…she is Perky Goth.

Rachel is divalicious, and he is going to _make_ her divalicious.

"Victoria's Secret first," he announces, linking arms with Mercedes and Brittany.

"They don't carry my size," Mercedes says in that I Am A Proud Black Woman voice she uses when she's threatened or especially pissed.

"That's what Goddess Lingerie is for," he assures her, and she grins at him.

He makes them all get a fitting from the lovely little old lady who wonders aloud about maybe extra padding for Quinn and about how white lace would look on Rachel's skintone.

They each get a set.

Brittany notices the furtive glances Tina is giving a particularly sexy pair of panties and immediately grabs them- black and barely there with a little pink bow. "Come on! You've got to, let's go. Miss? Yeah, she's taking this one, and the bra in—what was your size?"

"34 B!" the old lady calls over.

"34 B. Totally," Brittany agrees. Tina laughs and lets herself get pulled along, and Kurt sits back and watches them all with a sense of satisfaction.

Then they go to Goddess Lingerie, where Brittany, who is a little bit of a skank, immediately heads for the stockings and garters. Oh, he is going to have to use Power Point to explain to her the fine line between being a Beyoncé and being Madonna. Sexy v. Skank. Very tricky to navigate.

All the girls help Mercedes pick out a set, and Kurt leans against a counter and vetoes. The salesman leans over and says, "Oh, boy, you have your hands full."

"Oh, I _know_," Kurt sighs. "I'm more worried about the boys I'm leaving to fend for themselves. I might need to hold an emergency meeting to make sure that they're all presentable for my girls."

***

After lingerie, they go to get mani/pedis. They'll do make up and hair later, but right now his cuticles are calling out for some love.

The girls all laugh and talk about their boys—Quinn keeps trying to get Rachel to talk about Puck, who Rachel is bound and determined to only refer to as "Noah," which is classic Rachel. She keeps on glancing at the pink striped bag, though, so there will definitely be some sexing going on tonight.

Puck's earned it, and Kurt is willing to give his blessing.

***

Dress-hunting is delicious agony. He clutches his chest and threatens to tear Santana's red dress off of her, "Not in a sexy way!"

"Oh my God, no!" he gasps when Quinn comes out in a white dress. "One, this is not a wedding, and two, my dear, you are not going to be wearing white. Let's not tempt the neanderthals with more than they can handle, okay?"

Brittany comes out in a soft pink imperial dress and she looks just _stunning_, and it's all he can do not to cry.

Rachel he finds an ice blue dress worthy of a diva; Quinn goes deep blue, and it's sweet and sexy at the same time. They slide Tina into a black flirty dress and then go back to Goddess Lingerie and get her a black and red corset to wear over it. Santana goes in a slinky green worthy of Jennifer Lopez— he has got to get Mr. Schuester to give that girl a bigger part, because she looks like such a diva here that he can't believe she can't just belt it out.

Mercedes they get like this Asian-fusion thing in bright red and black with a black belt and she is _fierce, Miss Thing_— Mama Tyra would be proud.

***

He has a conference with the hair dressers and make up artists.

"Now, those three? They wear it up all the time, I want it down, but _fabulous_," he instructs sternly. "The Idina Menzel-alike? She wears it down all the time, and I have strong suspicion she is looking to get lucky tonight so we are going for very sexy, but not _whorey_, you know?

"The perky goth, make it perky goth but, you know, alluring. We don't want to subvert who her personality."

He makes them put on their whole outfits and show him, and it might be lame and make him just such a stereotype, but he clutches his chest and tears up a little because they look so amazing.

"Ladies," he says, "it's been a privilege being any part of this. But you know what this needs."

"Shoes," Tina says immediately, and the other girls all look at her and then burst out laughing, going back in to change so they could head Foot (fe)Tish Boutique. They strut up and down, and Rachel eyes the heels doubtfully.

"Oh, please, I can do it, you can do it," he dismisses, pulling on a pair of heels and displaying his Miss J _fierce_ strut.

She laughs and tries to follow his lead, and then they're all showing off their America's Next Top Model catwalks and then bitching about the latest round.

Brittany's dad has rented them a limo, and they all change in her massive house.

"So you're…"

"Their style manager," he informs him, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt and pulling his hat over an eye.

Her mom shakes her head at him, and then says, "Well, all right. Do you have a boy waiting for you?"

"Um—" he's taken aback; people, he realizes, have known he was gay just as long as his father has—even while he's still trying to figure out what that means. Beyond being this—because he loves this, being one of the girls—not that he wants to be a girl, he's happy being a boy, but—romantically. Or just…sexually.

Because it's easy to be a flaming stereotype (and he knows he is, some days), but it's hard to be brave enough to walk up to the quarterback who is with the girl he knocked up and say "When I threw the slushy in my own face that was as close to a declaration of love I'll ever get" and "How can you know what face products I use but not that I think of you _all the time_?"

But he can't help but be proud of the way that the guys all react to the girls, and Artie grins at Tina, who grins back, and _well, well, well_.

Puck looks kind of shell-shocked by Rachel, and it's so funny to see him act so…gentle, like she's thin glass and he's going to break her. She loves the attention, though, and completely misses the moment where all the Jocks and Cheerios (substituting in Quinn for Finn, of course) glare off anyone who might want to make fun of their group of Glee.

They're like the Breakfast Club—only more of them, and much better dressed.


End file.
